A quote..to begin this entry with….
“One of the greatest moments in anybody’s developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is”
so…. I really wanted to try this artsy nude type of thing for a selfportrait today…This was my result..among many others..which i also loved but i found these two in combination to be most effective and well ..effective for what i’m not too sure but something about them made me think of the word…’recovery’..and it turns out to be very ..suitable…for this image..and my life at the moment… i guess..i have come a long way from where i once was…qua lifestyle, friendships, love, and who i am…who i once was….I feel like i keep looking back, resenting who I am..because i’m no longer who i was. The lack of energy..concentration..the need to go out and party!! well i do sometimes but i just can’t be bothered most days ..it’s like..i literally FEEL myself aging..not that that is a bad thing..not at all…it’s just …different…. I miss being this melancholic teenager who found beauty in every single thing..and wrote about it..someone who delved into conversations with this persistent will to change people by having the patience to well..have patience with them.
Sometimes I wonder….did my happiness (finding my other half,…throwing myself into my life’s passion…finding spirituality) lead to my lack of inspiration? my loss for words when it comes to titling my photos…i’m not as ‘wordy’ as i once was…it’s like..i needed issues to be ‘creative’ or so it feels… but i guess it’s all part of rediscovering oneself….. after recovering..from my 20’s =)
I had a wild time..a good time..endless sleepless nights of nothing but fun and laughs..memories that make me smile ..even right now as i type this….i’ve really nothing to complain about….i could have been a poor dolphin in Taiji japan being slaughtered after watching his family get slaughtered..or watching his sister being taken away to become the puppet for the pathetic entertainment of human beings… i am the bright side of that. i guess what i mean to say is..if i really want to find this inspiration/creativity that i feel i lack..then i suppose i’ll just have to accept who i am..and stop missing who i once was.
Recover…Live in the NOW…….tolerate change..and accept my path. wherever it may lead me…. it may very well lead me to a whole world I did not know i could find…. que sera sera
Photo © (c) 2011 Sarina Gitoroemakso. All Rights Reserved. This photo is licensed All Rights Reserved. If you wish to use/publish it please contact Sarina Gitoroemakso / Sarina Gito Photography, SGP / firstname.lastname@example.org